you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
