just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
