i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
