How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
