Dual....:-)
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
