he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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