Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
