he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
