Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
