Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
