i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
