I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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