I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
