All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
