Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
