everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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