You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
