we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
