no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
