ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
