He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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