After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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