Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
