my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize