Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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