apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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