Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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