they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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