planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
