WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
