weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize