Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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