my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
