it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
