wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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