I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
