It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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