they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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