Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
