Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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