he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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