Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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