I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
