I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
