yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
