Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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