Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
