Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize