Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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