Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
