She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
