Porn is love you can see.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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