Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
