I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
