You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
