Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
