PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My balls are so social today.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
