My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
