this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
