Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just pee around me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
