obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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